At the end of December, everything I was feeling throughout the year finally caught up to me. I have been overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, emotional, happy, sad, devastated, surprised, and shocked by the events of 2020. For that reason, with the exception of a few Instagram stories, I have been taking some time away from social media and the blog.
The beginning of 2020 started with happiness and hope. We celebrated Nora’s 1st birthday together with our families. And then, just like that, the whole world stopped while COVID-19 RAGED. I haven’t seen my parents in person since February 2020. It hurts me every single day. What I would give for a hug from them.
From mid-March through the end of June, I worked from home with both kids at home with me, mostly on my own. It was really hard. It was impossible to balance mothering two toddlers with a full-time job. Most of the time, I felt like a failure. When I tell you that working out is the only thing that kept me sane, I am not lying. I was on verge of a breakdown every single day for months. The kids going back to daycare saved me. I was finally able to gain some of my sanity back. It was around that time, though, that the country was in crisis. With the deaths of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, the BLM protests and marches, and all of the election madness.
Over the last four years, I have really tried to steer clear of the news. Watching the news only served to add to my anxiety. Since March 2020, I have had a hard time ignoring the news. I find myself glued to the Wall Street Journal mainpage every single day. I honestly couldn’t stop myself from reading and watching the news, even if I wanted to. I, like so many others, have been horrified by the events of this past year.
Just when you thought we were finally turning a corner, at the start of 2021, terrorists invaded the Capitol building at the behest of our President. It is a dangerous game that President Trump has been playing with his supporters since the election. Why a grown man can’t admit defeat is beyond me.
I am hopeful that next week, on Inauguration Day, we can finally move forward and past all of this insanity. We, as individuals, and as Americans, have a lot of work to do in the coming months and years.
With everything that I have lost this year, I have tried to focus on what I do have. I am incredibly grateful for my family, our health and safety, friends, and for this space that serves as a creative outlet. I am also grateful for you, my readers!
I look forward to another year of documenting my life on the blog. I am optimistic that, in the coming weeks, the dark cloud that has been hanging over all of us is finally lifted.
x JW
